I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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