my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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