Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
