I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
