Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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