His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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