I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
