Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Boobs speak an international language.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
