After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
