Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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