I skipped work to stalk him.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
