Screwed.edu
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
