New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
