I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
They left me at home... I'm a liability
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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