week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
