If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
