drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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