Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
