My first STD was from a foam party
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How does it feel to date your dad?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
