I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
