I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
