You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
