what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
