whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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