i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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