Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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