chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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