You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
