I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
