I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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