Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
