Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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