i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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