Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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