i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
