why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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