its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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