I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
