So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
