It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
