He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
