We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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