Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
