If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
