Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
