Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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