Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
