So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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