this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
