ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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