Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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