the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
