i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize