in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
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