You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize