We're facebook friends in real life
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
