so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
