I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
