You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
