is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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