After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
