I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
