Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he thought i was a dude.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
